Love

"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body." -Elizabeth Stone
(An awesome quote I stole off one of my friend's blogs.)

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and so I find myself sitting here thinking about love. Ahh, love, that intangible emotion that all humans crave. We look for it, we sing innumerable songs about it, we obsess over it as a collective species. Recently, Time magazine even ran a 50 page spread on pretty much every aspect of love, right down to the biochemical reasons we crave it. So yep, we're all hardwired to flirt and sigh and want security and comfort from other human beings. And there's no doubt, romantic love is great. BUT, I submit to you that you can't really and truly know all aspects of love until you love a child in your life. That kind of vulnerability gives it a whole new twist and it's a whole other ball game than the romantic variety. Poems, songs, (and quotes for that matter), about love tend to emphasize the fluttery, fireworks, chemistry aspect of the emotion and kind of ignore the tougher parts that you really get to explore more in depth during parenting than anywhere else. You know, the parts that actually make true love unconditional, like wiping stinky rear ends, or telling someone no because you know it's the right thing to do, even when they really really want you to say yes and are looking at you with such hope in their face. Like waking up in the middle of the night to screaming and smiling benevolently and lovingly into the face of the screamer or managing not to loose your cool when someone small colors in your favorite novel, that kind of stuff. But whether talking about romantic love, or love for your children, it's when you realize that love is actually not idealized and perfect but is a down and dirty, hands on, messy process, when you move beyond the easy parts of love and get to the parts where you do what's best and not what's easy, THAT's when you KNOW it's real love for sure . (That's also when you start to understand your own parents a little more.)

So, to wrap up these musings, since I started this entry out with a quote, I leave you with a few more quotes about love that you may be familiar with already, except this time I want you to read them keeping in mind the child or children that you love...

"Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous, love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offense, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out." - Roy Croft

"Our love must not be a thing of words and fine talk. It must be a thing of action and sincerity." - 1 John 3:18

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly” - Sam Keen


So, make sure to kiss your Valentine and hug the kids you love, even when it's not Valentine's Day!